i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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