her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
