I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I need a beard to bite.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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