Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
