i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
