We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
