Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
