I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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