I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize