Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
