haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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