When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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