so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
