His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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