i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
