I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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