So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
