My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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