i don't like sucking hair
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Randomize
