I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
