The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
