Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
this just has baby written all over it
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
