You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
