how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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