So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
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This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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