The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
