let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
