He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize