maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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