We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
