whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize