You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you win again, gameday.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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