His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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