He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize