you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
