There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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