I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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