My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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