i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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