he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize