i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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