That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize