he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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