I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
