So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
