Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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