I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
