420 ftw
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
