so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
