I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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