I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
