so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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