So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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