i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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