ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
