just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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