sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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