I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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