i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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