why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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